[folds his arms over his torso and leans against the nearest tree]
Sparrow was insistent people vote to save the other person, knowin' full well that she'd die if she lost. Others did it, too. That girl from Ratatoskr. That boy from Tiamat.
Sparrow chose what was right for her heart. She would never, ever have been able to forgive herself if she had been the one to walk away . . . just as I would never have forgiven myself if I had allowed my team to send the water away, back in Nyssa's first game.
. . . Beyond that, of course, she—and perhaps the others—just wanted the others to be able to live. Still selfish ; those who survived suffered just as horribly as those who died . . . but Sparrow isn't the kind of lass who can think only of herself.
. . . but were they really thinkin' of the other person?
[tilts his head back, so it thunks against the trunk of the tree he's leaning against]
In the first round, both the Ratatoskr and the Epona wanted people to vote for the other side. If they both did it because they knew they couldn't live with themselves if the other person died and they survived, then. . .
The one that survived has to live with that on their conscious, while the one that died suffered briefly, but wakes up again feelin' like they did the "right thing."
[waves a hand]
I'm not makin' light of death, of course. That's a burden that the person who died had to live with, too. But I just don't think you can call it "thinkin' of the other person," when in the end, both sides are only thinkin' of themselves.
Aha . . . That's were many people get the wrong idea about us.
[She smiles briefly—and it's not a happy one.]
I said she can't think only of herself, and I never implied that it wasn't a selfish choice. I also never said who the choice was right for, did I? We make the choices we do because they are what's right for us.
Though, it's unfair and incorrect to imply that it can only be one thing or another—Sparrow was still thinking of that other person, and of their team, and of their friends. It's a balance, Spark. You can be selfless and selfish at the same time.
As long as you understand it, you can think whatever you'd like about it.
[She relaxes slightly (very slightly) and makes her way back across the clearing towards him.]
. . . And sometimes, it's all you can do to grasp back even some small semblance of control. Choose to live, choose to fight, or choose to die. [She smiles again, wry.] Whether that choice is respected is another matter.
If you're framin' it in terms of choice, then the decision to sacrifice themselves was theirs to make alone. Likewise, the decision to vote for who I voted for was mine alone.
I expected no less. [this smile really doesn't reach her eyes.] It's your right, of course. I'd be the first to admit that asking you to save a stranger over your loved one is . . . somewhat unfair, to say the least.
[She stops just outside of touching distance.]
. . . But what do you do when your choice breaks the very person you hoped to help? [It's not an accusation, not an attempt at dissuasion. Just an honest question.]
And if their choice to die breaks the people who care about them? The ones watching helplessly, knowin' there's nothing they can do to stop the inevitable?
[an earnest answer for an earnest question]
. . . this place is built to break people. There will always be difficult choices and someone will always be hurt.
[It's close, and it's enough. She hooks her fingers around his in turn, closing her eyes at how warm his skin feels . . . And though she's still hyperaware of the heart beating away in his chest, she can ignore it.]
. . . One of today's choices could so easily have been Sparrow or one of your teammates. Myself or one of your teammates.
I hope beyond hope that it stays a could have been. [She never wants to see Spark forced to make that call.]
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Re: Day 61, Post-Game
[folds his arms over his torso and leans against the nearest tree]
Sparrow was insistent people vote to save the other person, knowin' full well that she'd die if she lost. Others did it, too. That girl from Ratatoskr. That boy from Tiamat.
[shakes his head]
. . . I don't understand.
Re: Day 61, Post-Game
. . . Beyond that, of course, she—and perhaps the others—just wanted the others to be able to live. Still selfish ; those who survived suffered just as horribly as those who died . . . but Sparrow isn't the kind of lass who can think only of herself.
Re: Day 61, Post-Game
[tilts his head back, so it thunks against the trunk of the tree he's leaning against]
In the first round, both the Ratatoskr and the Epona wanted people to vote for the other side. If they both did it because they knew they couldn't live with themselves if the other person died and they survived, then. . .
The one that survived has to live with that on their conscious, while the one that died suffered briefly, but wakes up again feelin' like they did the "right thing."
[waves a hand]
I'm not makin' light of death, of course. That's a burden that the person who died had to live with, too. But I just don't think you can call it "thinkin' of the other person," when in the end, both sides are only thinkin' of themselves.
Re: Day 61, Post-Game
[She smiles briefly—and it's not a happy one.]
I said she can't think only of herself, and I never implied that it wasn't a selfish choice. I also never said who the choice was right for, did I? We make the choices we do because they are what's right for us.
Though, it's unfair and incorrect to imply that it can only be one thing or another—Sparrow was still thinking of that other person, and of their team, and of their friends. It's a balance, Spark. You can be selfless and selfish at the same time.
Re: Day 61, Post-Game
[is quiet for a few more moments, mulling these thoughts around in his mind]
[and a few minutes later, he speaks again]
That may be so.
I still find it. . . foolish. To willingly give your life in a situation where someone will die, no matter what.
Re: Day 61, Post-Game
[She relaxes slightly (very slightly) and makes her way back across the clearing towards him.]
. . . And sometimes, it's all you can do to grasp back even some small semblance of control. Choose to live, choose to fight, or choose to die. [She smiles again, wry.] Whether that choice is respected is another matter.
Re: Day 61, Post-Game
If you're framin' it in terms of choice, then the decision to sacrifice themselves was theirs to make alone. Likewise, the decision to vote for who I voted for was mine alone.
I won't vote against an ally, or a friend.
Re: Day 61, Post-Game
[She stops just outside of touching distance.]
. . . But what do you do when your choice breaks the very person you hoped to help? [It's not an accusation, not an attempt at dissuasion. Just an honest question.]
Re: Day 61, Post-Game
[an earnest answer for an earnest question]
. . . this place is built to break people. There will always be difficult choices and someone will always be hurt.
Re: Day 61, Post-Game
[saying that firmly. and then, much more quietly:]
. . . It was a lass from Gulgallana with Sparrow, yes? Dissolve. ... I would have voted to save her.
Re: Day 61, Post-Game
[sounds honest when he says that, too. he believes it will change. he wants it to change]
[but until it does. . .]
. . . how would you have felt if you had voted that way?
Re: Day 61, Post-Game
[. . . looks away.]
I know how it feels to be let down in that regard. I've no desire to have her go through the same.
Re: Day 61, Post-Game
[his hands clench into fists]
. . . then I'm sorry in advance for the decisions I will make.
[because like he can't-- he can't-- vote to protect someone else if her life is on the line]
Re: Day 61, Post-Game
You know that you can't put me first all of the time.
Re: Day 61, Post-Game
. . . I can't.
But no one can do that. There's a point where everyone has to put themselves first.
Re: Day 61, Post-Game
. . . One of today's choices could so easily have been Sparrow or one of your teammates. Myself or one of your teammates.
I hope beyond hope that it stays a could have been. [She never wants to see Spark forced to make that call.]
Re: Day 61, Post-Game
. . . I hope it stays a could have been, too.
[because he doesn't know what he would do in that situation]
[and he doesn't want to find out]
Re: Day 61, Post-Game
Re: Day 61, Post-Game