takewing | (no subject)

[. . . lets his hand linger for a moment, not pulling back]

Your teammates are reckless.

Swan would have let you bleed him dry.

It wouldn't have been his fault.

[It would have been mine. Bluebird usually isn't the type to feel torn up by guilt, but the bitter twist to her mouth says that she's feeling it now.]

[he understands what she means without her saying it]

I told him you'd think about it like that. S'why I took you all the way out here.

. . . I owe you -- all of you -- an apology. This shouldn't have been necessary.

You owe us nothin'. You can't always help your condition, and you talked to me beforehand knowing what was gonna happen.

You planned ahead, and chose the right person to neutralize the problem. You're not at fault.

[Shakes her head . . . and pulls back, climbing to her feet.]

Spark, I avoided blood for over two days. The bad games are difficult enough even when I'm not starving, and—

[Ugh. Turns away, wiping a hand over her mouth roughly.]

I've been an idiot. I wasn't protecting anybody; I was setting myself up for a stupid, avoidable fall. A fall that could have seen me murdering my own team.

Two-- what?

[that surprises him]

Why did you avoid eatin' for two days?

It's not the first time, I've never taken as much as I need . . . [PACING NOW.]

Nightingale would never tell me when she needs me to stop. Nor would Swan. Eveningstar. They would sit and smile and let me hurt them and I can't—I can't.

[And I hate it; I hate what I've turned into, I hate that there's a part of me that looks at my loved ones as food, I hate that I'm dependant Gods above I don't want people to suffer just so that I can live.]

[reaching out for her arm, taking it gently as she paces]

. . . but you cant go that long without eating, either.

I noticed.

[said with some bitterness, as his grip on her arm eases her to a stop.]

Then take a moment to think it through.

[keeps his hold on her, but it's not a very tight grip]

If you think your team is going to give you more than you need, than look for someone you know will look out for themselves just as much as they'll look out for you.

[And it's precisely because it's not tight that she doesn't pull away. Yet.]

[She also doesn't say anything, gaze flickering briefly to the bloody wound on his arm.]

[oh good, she gets it]

You can come to me.

[It might not be the best idea to focus on his wound so soon after what happened . . . but almost unconsciously, her hand lifts to trace around it, the touch feather-light.]

. . . On one condition.

[lets her, his gaze never leaving hers]

What?

I trust you. I don't trust myself.

[even now i can hear your heartbeat, i can feel it]

You fought me when I was weak, and I could have won. I almost did. Prove to me that you're more than a match even when I'm on top form, and I'll accept.

[letting go of her arm, hand falling to his side]

Did you ask Nightingale? Did you ask Swan?

[if she's going to hold him to different standards he'll at least ask why]

After what happened today, I'm going to. Before today . . . [She grimaces.] They've never given me much of a choice.

[She pulls back as well, and looks away – his blood on her fingers is suddenly very interesting.]

. . . I do have another reason for asking this of you.

. . . what's that reason?

[watching her stare at his blood on her fingers, ready to move in case she loses it again]

I have no idea what I'm capable of. No idea what can and can't hurt me.

[see this icon? this icon is the exact face she is making at the blood :I]

When I was human, I knew my strengths and weaknesses.

You want someone to test you.

[that's a request he can get behind]

Someone who I know can and will fight back if things get out of hand.

[Reaches out to him again (with her clean hand), snagging the front of his shirt lightly.]

[. . . takes a step towards her when she does]

All right. If that's what it takes.

Thank you.

[. . . another step, and she thunks her forehead lightly against his shoulder.]

. . . [lifts a hand and presses it against her back gently]

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